(All or) Nothing

Woe is me again.
Again.
Never lovers.
Only friends.

Well, this time
I’ll bring it to an end.

Won’t be my lover?
Won’t be my friend.

*FYI*

I’m currently traveling in Chile and won’t return home until around Christmas time, so I probably won’t post anything new for a while, since I don’t have consistent access to the internet. And strangely, I have realized that it is difficult for me to write with pen and paper. Too much crossing out and rearranging and other problems which are eliminated by the computer. But I will try, damn it. I will try. And maybe post some things when I get a chance. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I haven’t fallen off the face of the internet, for anyone who might follow my blog.

¡Hasta luego!

Self-Assassin

This inner-turmoil,
I must remember,
is just that:
inner
turmoil.
Chaos created
from within
the confines of my own mind.
Distrubances
that only I
can see, hear, taste, or feel.
And yet it couldn’t be more real.
It is the power
and the pit-fall
of every human soul.
The need to know
if
and when
and why
and how.
And the need to know it
now.
Without regard
for repercussions
or remorse
for pride gone wrong.
And once we find the answer,
we claim we
knew it all along.

Over

It was over before it started.

I was empty-handed.

You were empty-hearted.

I was reaching blindly

into your abyss.

No surprise it ended up like this.

See, I had no reason

and you had no rhyme.

And it was all a great waste of time.

Never would have happened.

Never could have been.

Just another battle I’ll never win.

Just another love

draped in illusion.

Time to unravel this grand delusion.

And at the core

what it will say

is that things were meant

to be this way.

Love’s Reflection

In love’s reflection
of affection
I am blinded by the light.
It’s my good side.
It’s my bad side.
No, it’s the way my face hits the light.
In an imperfect symmetry
of hope
of joy
of pain.
Do not shift your focus
or the whole feeling will change.