At Sea

Waves crashing all around,
a harsh yet peaceful sound.
A daughter once so lost
is now a woman found.

Home-Wrecker

Patterns and Habits
turn this house
into a hell.

Any place I know
too well
becomes the place
My Demons Dwell.

Reminders of a
c h i l d h o o d    s e l f
whose safety-net
was burning coals.

The only comfort
that she knows
is a hatred of
HER SELF.

Un-Named

An unquiet mind
festers in my skull
and silently drives me insane.

I want to be numb
and dumb
while sucking my thumb
and denying the blood in my veins.

Is it a feeling?
A lifestyle?
A personality trait?

Stillborn fetus
without a name.

Home Cooking

Guilt.
It’s what my mom fed me for breakfast.
And I cannot forget this.
Sorry doesn’t cut it.
Now no matter what I do
I punish myself.
I hate myself.
You’re a fat lazy pig.
The hatred I turn inward
because despite it all
she is my mother.
You people have no respect.
That’s right you cold, selfish bitch.
I have no respect for you.
Or for myself.
And it’s all your fault.
So where’s your guilt?
Oh that’s right,
you put it on us–
your children–
who never asked to be born.
But when I asked to die
you made me feel selfish.
Guilty.

31-August-2005

ESFJ

You are my shadow–
everything the light can’t touch
everything I push aside
when the sun is shining.
But once the sun goes down
you engulf me
from the outside in
and we become one and the same.
I despise you
I resent you
for following me
everywhere I go.
But no sooner could I plant
both my feet onto the sun
than could I rid myself of you
and escape my own shadow.