There is a strange beauty
in my world of chaos.
And I have grown to realize
that I would not want it
any
other
way.
This is why I stray
from all
safe
hypocritical
havens
and bask in the glory of
dangerous
uncertain
truths.
My madness
is apparent
in the tears I cry.
Your madness
is hidden
in the words you lie.
I am translucent.
This makes me vulnerable
to those who wish ill
upon my insides.
But I can turn light
into a million different hues
as the particles diffuse
through the membrane of my skin
and create
Pablo Picassos
within.
Sometimes the colors swirl
into a sorrow so blue
I wish I never let the light in at all.
Other times
red and yellow
burn such passion onto my soul
that I think I’ve finally found—
The Answer.
I finally know!
But then the grays
cloud over my thoughts
saying
black and white
do not exist.
And I am happy
that light tortures me like this.
Lovely poem, I liked your para graphs about madness, and I think there is a lot of truth about what you said relating chaos, read this extracted piece from the new scientist:
“In technical terms, systems on the edge of chaos are said to be in a state of “self-organised criticality”. These systems are right on the boundary between stable, orderly behaviour – such as a swinging pendulum – and the unpredictable world of chaos, as exemplified by turbulence.”
“The quintessential example of self-organised criticality is a growing sand pile. As grains build up, the pile grows in a predictable way until, suddenly and without warning, it hits a critical point and collapses. These “sand avalanches” occur spontaneously and are almost impossible to predict, so the system is said to be both critical and self-organising. Earthquakes, avalanches and wildfires are also thought to behave like this, with periods of stability followed by catastrophic periods of instability that rearrange the system into a new, temporarily stable state.”
I think art and science can both understand the same, in the same way, just using different words.
Thank you. And thanks for sharing that excerpt. Do you have a link to this article? I would be interested to read it in its entirety.
Sure, Glad you liked it, tell me what you think if you want later on.
Here:http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227141.200-disorderly-genius-how-chaos-drives-the-brain.html?full=true
Gotta give you a big high five for the title of this poem. Love it, as I especially love the last lines, “And I am happy
that light tortures me like this.” Chilling – art can be torture sometimes, particularly to the artist.
I’ve read your posts of writer’s block. At least let yourself acknowledge the amount of material you’ve been putting out for quite a while now. If you are still suffering a bit, maybe you can take the time to revise or organize your work. Put together a chapbook or work on submitting. There are ways to feed your poetry habit without feeling like you just have to write non-stop. I’m at a very similar place. I think that is the danger of having a blog – it sometimes feels like you just have to keep putting stuff out there. But in truth, if creation is all we did – we’d never really fine tune our poems. Hope all is well and if you need to bounce ideas off me, email me at PoeticGrin@aol.com.
As always, your comment is right on target. Good point, good advice about other ways to “feed your poetry habit” that do not consist of writing new poetry. And you are also right about the blog pressure. I have been essentially absent from WordPress for about a month for a couple reasons: 1. Writer’s block/lack of inspiration.
And 2. Checking my blog began to feel like a chore rather than something I looked forward to. There was the pressure to write new poems. The pressure to respond to peoples’ comments. The pressure to comment on other peoples’ work. And it’s not that I don’t like to do those things, but it’s the whole idea of obligation that makes me wretch. The minute something is EXPECTED of me, whether explicitly or implicitly, I run in the opposite direction. Kind of detrimental to any long-term success I might otherwise be able to achieve.
Thank you for your words.
This was worth waiting for, dear soul.
You have created a beautiful picture with your own desires.
Your chaotic, dangerous and uncertain truths have undergone
a prismatic transformation and you’ve penned it perfectly!
An innocent vulnerability is readily apparent in the way
you color your thoughts, making this sensual and charming.
I walk away enchanted, because I was happy for a spell.
(I can sooo relate to your last comment addressed to Bryan,
having just spent the last 4 hours making a measly 6 comments!)
Bryan is right, and you hit on a valid, for many of us I think, concern: when we become too caught up in the blogging world, we neglect the real world, which includes writing deep and perhaps even more creative material that doesn’t have to fit into an 8×12 slot and takes more than 30 seconds to digest. And doesn’t receive comments…the feedback is what keeps many going, but I think often that it is counter-productive.